Waking up feeling miserable. Dont know what have happened. I really dont.
It was drizzling this morning. Maybe not exactly drizzling, more like a tiny winy of rain drops for that few minutes but eventually stopped. I wanted to do nothing this morning.. leave my work. Leave everything behind and have a lazy day.
But the responsibility i’m carrying forbids me from doing so- i conform to the reality fact that i’m no longer a ’student’ without any liabilities, i have to be seperated from my lovely comfy bed and off to work.
Sometimes it’s about making choices. I’ve chosen this path and gains all the time flexibility that i’ve been longing to have, but of course, the income management sometimes really defeats all my confidence. I work very hard to achieve where i am today, but i’m sure i can do much better.
We often say No Pain No Gain. Perhaps we should just change it to No Stress No Gain. We dont exactly get the ‘pain’ during work- there’s no physically neither mental injuries involved. But the stress level keeps arising- perhaps to a level that is beeping its risk alarm without us aware of it.
I dont sleep quite well recently. But that’s ok, lotsa things have been bothering me. I woke up to myself feeling lonely, my life is always about work and my laptop and clients. I long for a holiday after my last Bali trip but August seems so near yet far- h1n1 is reaching its peak infectious level globally.
I dont feel safe if i were to travel at this time, but neither i feel alright if i’m staying in KL.
I had a dream a couple of days ago. Not sure where was the destination in my dream- perhaps Bora-bora or Maldives. I’ve been wanting to spend a week or two in these two beautiful beaches without having to worry about work.. but i know its not the right time to travel at this moment. Time and Money, both kill.
But then again, why is work stress gradually killing my interest? And why is my work still haunting me in dreams? I dreamt that i was enjoying the beautiful sea, sand and sun but client called up to ask if i’ve done my proposal to be submited and presentation will be next day.
F*. Such potong stim incident occurs. Even in dreams!
Sigh.
Anyways, gonna off to work soon. Hopefully its a fruitful day today to receive more confirmations. Else i will just be spending time updating blogs because i will have no work!
Hugs!
