kJ’s paradise~

Remember my post earlier about my wish-list?

I’ve finally gotten myself a MacBook white 13′ .. a brand new model by Apple. Though i’m still trying to adapt myself to the totally new computing environment of Apple.. you know all the left and rights are just opposite of our normal computing world here. No right clicking keys.. etc. But i still feel good about this Christmas present

and no, i didn’t get myself any E71. I’ve then decided to buy a E72 which costs just slightly higher than the first phone i wanted to buy. From 5 presents i’ve rewarded myself two out of them… as 2009 is coming to an end i would say i’ve got quite a fruitful year this year

I’ve done quite a bit this year, doing a bit more than just a Talent Resources Management Company to handling events. It wasn’t a big leap anyway.. all these eventually have their inter-connection linking together. But whether i’m still gonna be doing the same thing for the year 2010, i really wonder.

I’ve found a place which might accommodate my lack-of-practice in psychology skill. Some place that is considering to take me in though i’ve not been touching this field after graduation. Should i go ahead or stay put.. it’s another choice.

It’s like what people say, To be or not to be, It’s up to me.

It’s a very random post, i’ve not been writing recently. Facebook has pre-occupied most of my time besides my tedious never ending emails, i don’t longer tweet as there’s no follower (ops) but i would just like to update this nice space i’ve gotten myself last year. As this 2009 is coming to an end real soon, 48 hours to be in precise, just wanna sit down and conclude what have i done this whole year.

Literally, i bum around and earn a bit, but lost in business deals later half the year in some wrong investment decisions. It’s been a year which full of ups and downs, it’s still what happens to each and everyone of us each and every year.

2010, i’m hoping it’s gonna be an even better year ahead, to me and my friends, for me and my loved one(s).

Happy New Year people

I’ve never stopped writing.

I know my fellow friends might be thinking i’m such a workaholic and have long forgotten my blog. No i have not.

A series of things have happened recently.. failure in a so-called business deal confirmation, lost some money, got cheated by a friend, etc. But there were also some good ones that balance all’em up

I did not receive much birthday pressies this year. Literally, as facebook got famous over these years i’ve been receving e-greetings and virtual gifts online. Somehow i miss those snailmails days when you were waiting eagerly for the arrival of a wish.. a card .. a gift.. from your love ones.

I still hand-write cards to my friends. I remembered how i used to send a postcard back home to someone i really love, to let him know my whereabouts and to show how beautiful a foreign place can be. Life isnt all about working and earning tonnes of money, neither it’s about enjoying life without limitation.

You just gotta sort out a balance point in between.

of all the wishlist i’ve written in my previous few posts, i’ve finally gotten a e72 instead of a e71. A silver greyish black phone, superbly high-tech (at least to me!) and keeps me connected to the world from morning to wee hours — till i fall asleep. Sometimes i feel awkward to have spent more time on a small little gadget on hand rather than kissing my beloved (oh my DOG!) and talking to her like how i used to do it.

2009 is soon to be over. In precise we are all left with exactly 20days to a brand new year. Every year i’ve been asked what’s my new year resolution? I wish. I close my eyes. I pray.

and i’ve got it materialised this November

Miracles do happen. Have faith people

It’s a new start of a brand new life. I feel great.

I might not have that much time to update my blog, till we are finally a year elder to the brand new 2010. Lets keep our fingers crossed to a better year, with love and be loved.

## Beee doesnt necessarily means bee, or b, or ABC

my day ended beautifully today.

So beautiful i’m so delighted with an unexpected outcome.

Though afternoon was indeed a sad sad day.

Sigh. Why do i always have two extreme feelings in a day. What a roller coaster ride.

But still.. i like how the day was ended

and although again, I was sick. Down with flu, fever and headache. In a package =.=

Tired. Hitting the sack early today. Take a good rest everyone.

and once again, Thank You for everything. Everything that you’ve done unintentionally which brighten up my day =)

I was contemplating should i name this post Xmas Wishlist or Birthday Wishlist! well it serves the purpose of getting some gifts despite whatever occasion it is.. yeah i’m longing for lotsa items since i’ve started to work a year (or more) ago!

#1 Macbook Pro 13!

Yes. I know i’m greedy. I’ve been wanting to change a new laptop but not willingly to give up my dedicated DELL Inspiron which has been serving me for more than 4 years! It kinda gave up last year but i did a critical CPR to change its hdd and ta-dah. Now it’s pretty new except for its dreadful old look [lol]. Sometimes i think i’m such a loyal person (dont you agree? *wink) I dont know if i should do this drastic move to a MAC.

Honestly, i am not a very graphic kinda person. People has been telling me there’s no need to get a MAC besides to impress clients during presentations! Basically it’s not that ‘-other-laptops’-brands-friendly’ in terms of softwares and documents. Lotsa negative feedbacks came up - obviously from non Mac user but even more positive compliments from many of my MAC user friends.

HOW? perhaps i should really wait.. for Santa Clause to grant my wish! [I wonder where can i get such a huge socks to accommodate this MAC when he’s delivering it on the Xmas eve!]

maybe something like this!

#2 Nike LUNAR sport shoes!

At first sigh, it looks really ugly. [LOL] yes it does not create that ‘wow’ factor when i first saw it. Perhaps because i was viewing the blue one and realise how ugly it is.. wondering how this pair of shoes would uglify my total outlook. haha i know this sounds really ridiculous.

I was wearing a nice pair of adidas shoes - not exactly for sports but it’s more like a leisure type of shoes. I wore it to Perhentian for a mini trialthlon race and ended its lifespam by kicking onto stones with the ratio of 1 kick every 2 seconds. Within an hour of sufferance it finally gave me up- leaving my toes to be exposed to the muddy trail along the jungle.

So in revenge, i left half the shoes platform somewhere in the middle of the jungle- probably now it’s with any monkey’s arms carrying it like a baby- or long lost under the mud. [lol, again!]

I’ll be doing a half-marathon this coming 22nd of November in the annual Penang Bridge International Marathon. Not aiming for any medals, obviously. (ok perhaps the finisher medal shall be my target!] i can’t survive in my high heels in such run. This pair of NIKE Lunar sport shoes looks confident enough to support me along the course.

So, why not? =)

#3 GUESS Labyrinth Timepiece

This awesome looking GUESS watch is presented in a special design of GUESS 25th Anniversary case back. Quote what’s being written on its officical website, ”Adorned with glitz dials, crytal-studded cases and animal looks”, this special edition GUESS watch is dressed in leather straps that is fitted in an array of colors.

I’m so tempted to buy this. But i also know i dont have any special fond towards a leather-strap watch. But this watch looks so cool especially when it was worn on that superb lenglui (pretty) model’s wrist. I was bedazzled, perhaps. [lol] This doesnt quite look like a necessity but i would really want to own it, hopefully NOT when it’s having discount at off-season sales! [omg]

#4 SONY Cyber-Shot T90

Such a beauuuuutiful camera. I was test driving this nice piece of camera and instantly fell in love with it. I know there are still lotsa different brands/ models digital camera which seem to be even BETTER, but no dont stop me to be in love with it unless you have valid reasons which are able to prove its failure in whatever ways!

A must get item. Christimas or Birthday? argh!

#5 NOKIA E71

This white color phone easily captures my heart the moment i first saw it. Some of my friends are using E71 but with the black color model. I wasnt so attracted to it until I saw a colleague of mine using the White one. She was happily showing me this gadget which was given by her brother from The States. I was speechless. This gadget has all the functions i need on a daily phone aka laptop - just that i would prefer something with a qwerty keyboard.

A friend introduced me E75 but it looks a bit ‘man’ to me. Some reviews say this e75’s keyboard easily slides off and it doesnt serve the purpose as a qwerty keyboard. So my first choice should still be E71 white..

but when? argh!

Actually the list could go really long.. But i’m not greedy for now! (ops did i just say i’m NOT greedy?) well just set the target as 5 items and i shall conquer them! hmm.. better not set a time frame. I gotta give you guys my dear readers ample time to save up the money for the items!

muahahha

Cheers, and happy birthday to me.. SOON!

hugs.

I’ve been really busy.

I think it’s been a norm that i start my blog post with such sentence. Yes, i’ve been really,really busy. It’s to an extent that i think i’ve no life. I wake up every morning thinking about pending work, unfinished tasks, uncompleted proposals and perhaps cheques that are yet to received. I have to cancel off a few trips due to work, namely ‘profits come first’.

Though sometimes (or most of the time) i wonder if this is what i ever wanted in life. Perhaps all working adults are facing this dilemma and a turn-point in life which we dont longer have the advantage of making decisions as we like? Depending on moods, and probably flows with the emotions.

I’ve been playing Black Eye Peas’ songs I got a feeling over and over again - i just have this sudden liking to it. Perhaps it reflects what i ‘was’ feeling - yeah it was yesterday night. Not today though. But it eventually leads to my happy mood today

The power of a song.. and the words one says

Let’s just pray that my work will go smoothly- everything runs as per scheduled. Keep my fingers crossed..

I got a feeling.. That tonight is a good night.. That tonight is a good good night

It’s been a long week- busy and hectic week. All about work. Looking back at my schedule, sometimes i wonder how did i ever make it to what i’ve done today. Everyday seems to have endless pending tasks, and most of the time i’m only able to hit the sack nearing to wee hours.

Not to mention waking up at 8am then to kick start my day. =.=”

Anyways, the roadshow i’m currently running is finally coming to an end. To be in precise it is ending on Monday and finally some good sleep. I’ve met lotsa people - most of them are new to me, and i’ve gotten more headache moments dealing with some of them.

There are people who are destined to be successful. There are also some people who are fated to be such a failure. Working attitute determines how one handles challenges in life. If you cant even take a part time job seriously, if your life dictionary has never gotten a ‘punctuality’ word to have existed, I think you are such a loser.

Why do people gains all the trust and confidence from others easily whilst you are still finding your path along the way? If one doesnt have the quality, or you are unable to deliver a simple task completely, i would really have doubts to hire you again in the near future.

So why bother to come to me and ask for upcoming jobs vacancy and specially mention you deserve a higher pay? [LoL] do you think i give a damn to even explain you deserve half the price of what i’m offering now if i would ever take you again?

Life. Some people are merely messing up their lives living in own imagination.

I wonder how do they survive stepping into this working world.

************************************************************

On the other hand, i’ve been badly disturbed by some untruth rumours recently. There’s this chinese phrase that says dont bother to explain because rumour eventually stops (spreading) when it reaches an intellegent someone. Only foolish people randomly follows whatever others say - which i THOUGHT it could be true.

Somehow i was very wrong. Or perhaps people around me are still yet to be upgraded to ‘intellegent people’.

Not refering to all, but some of those that i know.

Things got worsen these days. Every now and then i hear things from everywhere - which people assume it will never come back to me. I’ve never been a superstitious person to go to a temple to burn more incantations and pray for my well-being thinking that life is gonna be a lot easier after this; but i just stay put to my belief and know i’m always well-protected.

And things are trying to knock me off my feet each time i’m trying to stand still. Perhaps its all challenges in life to train me a better person. What doesnt kill me, makes me stronger?

I wish i am, walking at a stable pace with someone i can rely to, holding my hands and still smiling comfortably despite whatever bad things that have happened.

It’s the support we can have for each other - though i used to long for a confession which it then ended nowhere -

i’m glad to be who i am today, with someone that i can trust and love entirely, and though life might lead us to nowhere or eventually we might have to be apart.. I still appreciate what i have today.

With you. and only you.

I’m sick.

Physically and mentally. I’m feeling so tired.

Hoping it’s none of the Influenza A virus attack. Perhaps i’ve eaten too much good food. Perhaps i’ve read some heart-breaking articles. Perhaps i’ve come across some unbearable scenes and shoutouts from some people, which resulted in that envious and irritating feeling in me.

I miss home. Right now. So much.

What dreams are made of ..

It’s supposed to be meant for the title.

There are a lot of version of such song over youtube. Obviously the most famous one now is by Hilary Duff. I personally prefer the Ballad version, very soothing, very soft.

Got to know this song through a blog’s background music recommended by a friend. Was just listening it as one of the soul-calming music, but never did i expect that it soon turned to be such a song that can easily ‘emotionalify’ me.

I could listen to it over and over again. Fall into deep thoughts. Sink into my own memories in life. Be it sweet or bitter, or even sour, it’s all mine.

And today, i was really stressed at work. Things came in all in once and i wasnt even ready for all. Yes i hate to meet deadlines especially last minute requests, but i know i need to survive in such working environment else i will just get disqualified out of the game.

It finally exploded after i put on this song on my player. I teared.

and i decided to take a break to go out for a yummy pint of Baskin Robbins’ 31st of the month’s discount of 31% on his favourite Rum and Raisins flavour ice cream.

Looking out of the shop, i see cars. i see hundreds of people walking up and down, its off office hours. I begin to think what have i been doing in life. Such a hectic life i’m undergoing. Does it all worth, i wonder. What do i get in return, does monetary return brings satisfatory or was it a proud sense of achivement which i’m longing for.

I feel lost. Though i’m not getting any answers, the workload in the office awaits and i know i still have to conform to it.

I wouldnt have another 31st of the month in this year of 2009 to sit down eating BR ice cream in such a serenity. I love the tranquilness of such, but i hate the loneliness that accompanies the coming.

I sighed. Walked out, feeling satisfied, heading back to the contradictable disorderly mess in office.

Another long night for me.

-KJ-

i took up a slice of cake. with a handful of biscuits residue i left them all over the table.

Sumptious desserts treat. It was so filling, so satisfying.

The venue was so lovely, with such romantic ambience. Candlelight dinner.

It didnt take place in any nice elegant restaurant. It ended pretty peaceful without the aching of burning a big holes in anyone’s wallet.

Because it’s all original. It’s from the bottom of the heart. It’s also the thoughts that count.

I appreciate what people have done to cheer me up. I appreciate what others have contributed to spice up my dullness life.

But sometimes.. what i need is not more than a supportive acknowledgement. To keep me going. To keep me alive.

I’m flying in 2 weeks time. Everything is ready, except for the inner me.

I feel like dropping all these.

I really do.

I woke up having a nightmare.. i know its the post-Lamia effect.

No, i wasnt terrified by any of the scenes in that hell movie. I’ve never gotten such post-movie pressure.

Something was wrong with me. I couldnt really breathe. Each breath i inhaled i felt it as heavy as a 10kg weight lifter, but i was constantly exhaling and found it suffocating to catch the next breathe.

C said i was living in denial. For the past one week. Was i? I only remembered the bits of here and there about work, what stress i had to undergo over the weekend. I hate contracted invoice. I hate quotation that comes with terms and conditions which i had to sign else i will loose it.

And the one and only reason was merely for the sake of income. Better income.

I was randomly viewing some profiles online. One caught my eyes. A really beautiful lady. She’s attached to a guy with the exact same name as his. Was that the same person? Could the world be so small that i finally get to see who the girl is?

My heart was pounding.. i moved the mouse cursor over.. hesitated if i should click.

But i gave up.

Looked at his, i saw the first line, was a sentence with love and concern.

I smiled. I was suprised i still smiled.

I’m finally over.. over with him

23 days to a gate-away. Hopefully its not just a passport-stamp-collecting trip.

Lurvess. and please bear with my randomness.