kJ’s paradise~

I got what i’ve never expected today..

and i lost what i’ve never been expecting to lose on the same day.

Such a contradiction.

Sometimes it all happens within the thin fragile line, the moment you make a crucial decision you are destined to certain outcome. You call it faith.

But i dont think it is what we say ‘fate’.

It’s the sweetest moment i shall remember, it’s also the most heart breaking moment i’ve ever attended.

If life is about making choices, will you choose to know, or not to.

If a friendship should include trust, why would i have not been blessed with such element after paying them all off to others.

If what we have been dealing with were merely on the surface, where�were the contents?

Sigh.

If i were to be given the answer is such a way, i rather it wasnt being revealed at the first place.

-kj-

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

�

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I woke up. Feeling drowsy.

I felt him, right next to me. But it’s a dream.

I made a mistake some time ago. I thought i will not make another same mistake.

But i failed.

If life is about making choices, If life is about taking challenges.

Will i , Will i be entitled to a U-Turn.

Tomorrow is the day. It’s the day i have to do it.

I remembered how he came into my life.. when i was down. When i lost someone dearest to me- who literally betrayed me.

Right by my side, made me felt things will work out just fine.

He came at the right time in my life. But we met at the wrong time at each other’s life.

Not everyday we will have someone who understands�you so well, and i appreciate it dearly, sincerely.

He brought the sunshine into my life, but I used some dark clouds to�hide them under.

There’s not much time left. If i dont get it done, i will never�get a chance.

I’m sorry.

I just have to .. I just have to. �

�

There are things in life which you can never hide away no matter how much effort you have put in.

Just like the things that you try the whole life to�obtain but never able to get.

When you dont longer put faith onto it, opportunities come by to say hi.

Will you smile and accept the greet, or will you walk away arrogantly thinking that it’s never mine..

I’m not striving for excellency.

I don’t need to strive to get it.

You are sitting right next to me, smiling, waiting to hug me.

-kj-

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feeling a bit dissapointed after a luncheon with�some friends.. only to find out some recent news about a friend, who is no longer a friend… ’s whereabouts.

I guess most of us believe to this metaphor about ‘Money is not everything, but you are destined to nothing if you have no money’. I dont have that exact strong belief to this, but i do understand the struggle one has to go through if you are really poor.

Literally, you have nothing.

But if you are given just ‘enough money to spend’ for your livings, you dont live a luxury life, you dont have a brand new Merz, you dont stay in a big triple storey bungalow with a Olympic size swimming pool, will you still be able to�lead a happy life with your love ones.. peacefully.. quiantly.

I always wanted to have just a simple life. I dont need ample money to own Gucci or LV to add on to the glamourious high-end lifestyle, i can happily have street food and wear as simple as a T-shirt and jeans; but if i have a choice i wanna build up my career- not because of the income but rather, adding to my life experiences.

Some people, choose to plan lotsa scams and trick others falling into it by putting in the money-return temptations. It might be something rewarding, it might be something which brings really good returns, but the risk is the same as putting you into a bancruptcy situation.

Some people, have gone through this and earned quite a lot from there, hence diversing the idea of cheating into a bigger scale and still hoping some naive people to fall into it - whatever shit happens that person is out of the picture and the victim is still the investor- who is then losing the money and own reputation.

The aggresiveness of earning more and more money- has bewildered one’s conscience.

What do you do, with so much money in this life?

I always wonder.

Perhaps money- is a kind of motivation to drive someone to a better person- as it improves one’s life. Perhaps money is also a kind of monster, that leads someone to be a worse person- which might end up be a click that draws one to be totally lost in such temptation, forever.

I chose to believe money has a positive motivational drive to each and everyone of us.

and i sincerely hope, my that friend,�shall realize where the conscience sits, and stops all the evil actions.

I pray for the best for my friend.

-kj-

havent been updating this blog for some time.

Perhaps i dont feel like doing it, i dont want to do it, or i have so much to say yet its undefinable.

Where to start. Where can i start.

I’ve been getting really busy recently. Fighting against 24hours/day time, trying to squeeze some time to do more for the family when i’m still available, getting more personal time, spending some quality hours with people that i want to be with, and planning on my next trip.

Might be HongKong, i supposed? If things are smooth sailing.

After that last incident, i’ve been quite confused with my own standpoint and people’s attitude. I felt lost - not just myself, but towards people around me. I dont know who are the ones by my side, and who are not. It sounds contradicting, i know, but i can’t help it.

and here comes the second- i wouldnt deny its the feeling, but why is there always the wrong target.

I made a wrong choice some time ago. I cant afford to make another same mistake this time around.

Will i .. or will i not.

I spent time reading over and over the same message.

I closed my eyes, i tried to calm down.

I felt like a hug, a tight and warmth hug.

Will i .. or will i not.

I dont know.

but i can’t, i can’t follow my feelings.

I know i can’t.

-kj-

Hey girls,

I need some girls’ profiles for a car launching event in February. If you have sent me profiles or have worked with me please drop me a sms / an email to indicate that you are interested.

Event Details:

Date: 13 February 2009 (Friday)
Time: Noon - evening
Venue: KL - indoor event
Payment: TBC - upon chosen by client.

Job Scope: Smile for the camera. Pose beside the cars.

Requirements:
#1 168cm in Height without heels.
#2 Pretty and slim
#3 Possesses posing skills
#4 Photogenic.

Please send your profiles to kjseow@gmail.com

-kj-
www.iamkj.com/blog/events

4 Female usherettes needed for a corporate annual dinner
event at Genting International Convention Center. Details as below:

Event: CNY corporate annual dinner
Date: 15th Jan 2009 (Thursday)
Time: 7pm to 11pm (3pm standby for rehearsals)
Venue: GICC (Genting International Convention Center)

Meals, transportation and accommodation are provided. Do your own make up.
Attire:�White gown�(provided by client)
Shoes: Own�white high heels.

Note:
We will be leaving to Genting on 15th Jan morning, and return to KL on 16th Jan (Friday) before lunch.

Job Scope: usher VIP during the program flow. Bringing in the souvenirs for the launch gimmick.
Requirements:
#1 minimum 165cm in height without heels
#2 Pretty and slim

Please send your profiles to kjseow@gmail.com should you be interested.
For those who have worked with me please drop me an email or sms to let me know if you want me to include your profiles for client’s selection.

Cheers.

kj

Brand new year, Brand new life for everyone. Welcome to the year of 2009

I’ve been rather busy recently, a lot of things to say but never knew how to put it into words nicely. There’s just so much bits of here and there, but to sum them all up, all good.

In the midst of heading to a new direction. I never really set ‘expectations’ or ‘resolutions’ each year, as i dont give a damn to follow. According to an interesting research online, the most common resolution of new year for female will be ‘keeping fit’ or in other words ’slimming down’. What’s this that everyone thinks slim= pretty or so.

Sigh. Sickening.

A friend who has been studying ‘FengShui’ reveals bits of my luck for the coming whole year. I hope he’s all true. lol .. i guess most people want to hear a positive sides of ownself but have been in denial for the negatives. Perhaps i am one of those, but i’m trying not to.

I started my year with a really beautiful scenery - i lied down on the pathway at The Curve and watched the astonishing fireworks which lasted for 15 minutes. There were thousands of people who�were looking into the sky- the dotty burst of flames then transformed into amazing millions of even smaller flames which formed the designed effects. A guaranteed sight during New Year Eve almost everywhere around the world. It’s the person lying next to you who witnessed the same scene that matters, i guess it’s never how beautiful the effect could be affecting one’s mood.

I was watching this explosive pyrotechnics which�served as just the entertainment display - burning into ashes after getting the few seconds of ‘wow’ and cheers from the crowd. Fallen into deep thought wondering if the skyrockets are happy with the colored flames and sparks. If they were given a chance to choose, will they want to be sacrificed in such a way..

if i’m part of the firerockets.. i’m sure i wont. I’m sure, i will ask for more. I’m sure, i will not give up.

But i wasnt given a chance, a fair chance.

But the game is over. The fireworks were only meant�to be remembered, quaintly- in�my own way.�I’m not part of the fireworks, i’m still here, still here.

-kj-